suddenly, out of nowhere, there is a stabbing, paralyzing pain on the lower right side of the back. humor slips away, and seriousness enters.
there was a fire on the mountain across the river yesterday, that spread out of control with the strong winds. suddenly people’s houses and lives were in jeapardy.this is life, the hard dry ground, the smell of smoke, the whistling wind and dancing leaves. life is a sprinkling, a stream, or a flood of events, small and large that bring pleasure and pain. the sun, the air, the water and the land make up our home wherever we are, at one moment nurturing, in another, devastating. the common denominator, uncertainty. only this is fixed. one death per person is rationed, but the fearful suffer death countless times.
we all assume that we would be the most interesting animal if creatures from outerspace were to arrive. that of course they would speak to us, humanity, first, if they wanted to talk to anyone on the planet. but what if they preferred the company of whales, dolphins, and octupi. insects or worms, what if they found us as so lost, serious, and pathetic that they don’t wish to be involved in any way. nobody ever imagines this. do we not all suffer from some kind of cultural narcisism? we all know, i hope, that being human is profoundly interesting, intriguing, an amazing situation, for each person is more or less experiencing things uniquely, but each person puts his imprint on the experience so to speak or contributes to the passing moment. it’s a grand parade.
there are those that avoid the flow and stand back a ways like a monk or a spy. but most of us float in a sea of events that happen from every level, every angle. there is so much beyond our control, there is a seriousness just in our survival alone and the avoidance of pain. but as much as we hate the system, society has created a cushion for many of us, which keeps us comfortable most of the time. some of us even get fat, a sign of indulgence and lack of restraint. but it could be other things, so i should never judge someone for being fat. its just one of the multitudinous conditions available to us all. if its not healthy, i deem it unworthy, so perhaps there lies my prejudice against fat. its the same with cigarette smoking, its such a nasty habit. but everyone must do as they choose. i would never impose. and it may seem prissy, but i have antipathy for anything that could be construed as vulgar, like picking one’s nose in front of others. and now i could be accused as being a vulgar writer the second that i had even mentioned it. sometimes one lays his own traps, so to speak, unfortunately this inevitably leads to the diagnosis of “fool”.
in defense of the fool: i’m sure that many think its foolish to defend such a one as a fool, but someone has to do it, and its best if its a fool who takes the responsibility. a real fool, shameless, and i hate to admit that that is what i am, or am not, whatever. because it is my intention that u don’t notice what a fool it is that is writing this foolishness. i want u to forget that i am here, writing so seemingly profoundly. just imagine that it is yourself talking to you. i’m sure u have done that. ideas pop up in your mind stimulating you to respond in kind and u r talking to yourself.
events are made to be experienced. if there is an earthquake it needs something to disrupt. if it rains, something must get wet. all the rains that fall unseen over the ocean, who experiences them? but these events may be experienced second hand so to speak. like the rain that enters the ocean rolls waves up on the sand. and later form clouds, etc. so, so much is happening at the same moment, that we miss 99.999% of everything, being confined as we are to one location at a time. a fool would regret that. and perhaps, its good that somebody cares, no matter how unimportant and meaningless, one might imagine. there are so many small and almost pointless things that go by every day completely undefended. our compassion for all things is really so limited. where are the champions of small things, the weakest, the ugliest, who defends the rat, the fly, the mosquito? so its a point for the defense.
one might imagine that a fool is someone who generally makes bad decisions, decisions that serve him poorly. just as one must reap what one sows, one must inherit the consequences of bad decisions, which could be painful or even mortal. its another serious aspect of our existence, one might assume. but for a fool to be serious is like putting butter in a flame, there will be a meltdown. and in the end, nothing will be funny. it will be like living in a colorless world, a world without wit and humor is like in the middle of death valley, losing a bolt in your tire, the tire falls off, and you must search the sizzling roadway for the part (this happened to me and we found the bolt after an hour and got out of there). these kinds of thoughts, fill the fool’s head with dread. dreariness and deleriousness teetering at the brink of the abyss of boredom in its endless darkness.
now, if one believes that all things that can exist, does exist or will exist or did exist, we can see that someone needs to play the role of the fool, like each card of the tarot represents some aspect of life and the fool card is zero and zero is the magic number that has as much right as any number even if its the smallest with the least value. tyranny among numbers will not be tolerated, it is unheard of.
zero is very special, if not underrated and misunderstood. zero is beyond black and white. it is at the other end of infinity. everything stands in relation to zero. zero is the center of everything, if there is a center. it seems like there must be one somewhere. if there is a center, its a moving center, because we are all moving thru space. but we are cushioned and its not noticeable. how many people on the planet are comfortable with their lives? how many people are living lives so uncomfortable that they would say ouch. life hangs between struggle and fiesta. somewhere we find ourselves along this continuum continually.