A little personal history

When I was young we had a big black ball that you could ask any question. You would shake it and the answer would appear, yes or no. Now we have google and the internet. If you wanted to learn something, you would trudge down to the library, look through the card catalogue and find a book, than look in the index and try to find whatever it was you were trying to find out. Information has become infinitely more accessible.

Unfortunately there are some entities (i.e. see eye aye) that flood the internet with misinformation, so it is difficult to know what is true and one must question everything. And it is because of this that the potential power of the internet as an incredible asset to all of humanity is undermined.

When I was young, we played with baseball cards in many different ways, we rode bikes, played baseball in the street, basketball, tv was just invented, it seemed incredible, we got one of the first ones, but the shows were stupid in the beginning, low brow and boring, later they would get better. I liked to play outside, we played tackle the man with the ball and we would just run with the ball in someones front yard until someone would tackle us. I played a lot with my best friend who lived across the street, Marianna Brown Bettman, she was a tomboy. She loved to read, She was an all A student all the way through school and became the highest ranking female judge in the US, until another woman was picked for the supreme court. We loved to explore the small forest behind her house and the creek below. We had no skateboards, no smart phones, no computers, but we had a lot of fun. We would play games outside with all the kids in the neighborhood at night. I cried when we moved away when i was in the fourth grade.

We were told that in the future, people would be able to fly from place to place with jet packs. I had many dreams of flying, just flying, without a jetpack. Now I never dream of flying, I dont know why, but its not a problem. There was only one man in the world who flies with a jet pack, Yves Rossy, now there are more: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNaZCDhvh88. And this year in Dubai they are introducing a driverless taxi drone: http://mashable.com/…/dubai-autonomous-taxi-service-sched…/…. I am looking forward to building an anti gravity machine with an invisible shield to prevent us being shot down by any government. Some people follow leaders, some follow orders, I like to follow my dreams.

I was a young hippy in San Francisco in the sixties. Later I became a radical anarchist activist (and I still am). I partially raised a family for 12 years. I had toxic relationships with women back then and we eventually separated. I really didn’t understand women very well and hadn’t evolved enough to keep them content. I cared a lot, but it wasn’t sufficient.There were many different experiences in my life and I am only touching on a few which seem significant and/or relevant now to share to reveal more of myself to you, the reader. I want to get to know people and for them to know me on the deepest level possible. I don’t mind being vulnerable. Superficialities bore me. I never talk sports, I stopped watching tv when I was 21, I had had enough. I knew that something was wrong with American society when I was a kid. I thought the whole society was neurotic, now it seems almost psychotic.

The hippy thing, besides all the great music, marijuana and LSD, and youthful lust, was a spiritual quest for many. It made me aware of how much more to life there was beyond what was merely visible. I was battling shyness from the time i was 5 years old and slowly overcame it all by age 35, it was painfully limiting. I started off as a young adult feeling lost with no foundation to stand on. I had to find myself. I had no plan, no direction, but I didn’t want to drift, like many around me. I became aware of my infinite ignorance in my twenties and started reading in a focused way; history, science, history of science, literature, philosophy (existential especially), poetry (Rilke, Yeats). I loved literature, I could appreciate Shakespeare, Dostoyevski, Balzac, Pushkin, Hugo, the great writers of the 19th century and before, and some more modern writers as well. Still, I realized that my reading was just a drop in the bucket, but it gave me an intellectual foundation, a footing.

My shyness has been overcome pretty much by now, but I have a tendency to be an introvert, however I love good conversation, so I prefer a balance of socializing and solitude. There are so many sides to everyone and we only see a tiny fraction, the tip of the iceberg, so to speak. You can’t judge a man by his tip, I always like to say. It seems that we like to get to know one another, but we really don’t know each other very completely. There is so much beneath the surface, so much history, so many levels. If we could only really know one another, we would all cry, because it would be so beautiful, compassion would flow.

People, everyone, are so much more than we can imagine. We have been programmed to not fully appreciate ourselves or others. The commercialization of our lives, the programming, the lies, and the lack of genuine freedom, has downsized us to seeing ourselves as mere flesh and blood of little importance, of little value even, when we are so infinitely more. The ego construct of which we identify as, is hard to love 100%, it is so limited and lacking with so much hubris from the past lodged in our subconscious. We are all so much more. We need to wake up to the infinite potential that is within each one of us and the sacredness that we embody. Then it would be unthinkable to kill or bomb anyone.

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